First of May

First of May

10 MAY 2014

We met here in 1998 just after removing

my black clothing without  a colored collar

you just gave my future yet you promised a brighter one

you promised my future my happiness you shall give

yet you made me melancholic for two years

thinking of your promise

From 1998, at the first drop of rain in May

you made me holy and touch the veils of God

you made me live in his throne, you said

I can live there too So I entered leaving you

For two years that we were together, I left you

I felt it was a solution to my sorrow

In a foreign land away from home, I left you

Remember that was in 2000 I felt

I am going to be married forever

never to meet you again

But my inner self trembles your kiss seems

To say that We meet again and

That time it will be forever So I followed my

Instinct and yet to be away from you for

the next six years is a bliss it’s heaven I guess

For those years I was always drawing from

the well Water from the One filling my soul

I was lost in bliss forgetting that I belong to you

Six years and the first of May was erased in

my calendar for it was non-existent was I

happy then or my forgetfulness is a way

to avoid meeting you again or to escape

my responsibility of this world

But, you are so powerful yes you are

You have convinced me to see you again in

First of May we met again in 2005 just when

I removed my black cloth, then with already a

Collar – heavenly white. As white as the heavens

Like what my forgetfulness has promised

In lofty places there I swooped down

And see where I came from the valley of soil

For a year we were together again in the first of May

Now your promise was evidently shallow

For I seek the metal yet why did you not remind me

That we should be married together instead of

The one where I spent my life for the past 5 years

Ah in the first of May I left you again I know you

Were so sad of our parting for I want to draw water

Again not from the well of the One but the many

I drew water for the metal to gain more metals

Twice I immersed my pail but it was cut twice

I was glad that you were there you rescued me

You courted me for the third time you know

I have never declined your invitation to visit you

Especially those times when I was alone and lonely

When drawing water from the well caused me to

Fall to that well and I almost drown myself

With a sweet promise a smile we were together again

In the first of May for three years but the last six

Months of that duration you have poisoned me

Your promise was only a ploy I know you were

Smiling behind me your silence deafens my ears

You allowed me to bury myself in the mud in tears

In the first of May rain poured gentle yet steamy

Inside the earth, I met myself my distorted self

I know you were sobbing with me

you were gazing at me in my wretchedness barrenness

Yet I did not see you there but remembered you there

In the first of May, you were there Raising your

Hands wide and embraced me for the fourth time

In the first of May, you were my opium my life

On your lap, I relished your presence inside your

Gentle arms I protected myself You wondered why

I acted like a child sobbing after having lost in the

Agora Thinking that loosing you might be

Forever In the first of May, I decided to marry you

You affirmed immediately smiled But I was stricken

With the fear that pierced my torso and dissolved

my soul Your smile I felt suspicious that it brings

empty promises of bliss from the first of May

I shall not march in the first of May for you are

Just as easy to forget and to get in the first of May

You are worth a metal that hardens the heart of the

Beholder, You are gauged according to the act

of the seeker, You are measured according to days starting

from the first of May Yet in the first of May no metal is

your worth for you hold us in chain and alienation is your

promise in the first of May